The Bike Fairy, cleaned, re worked my fork, re ran my wires and housing. I should really say bike mechanic angel because he is very much male nurturing energy, a care taker and makes a mean enchillada! He took my bike under his wing and it needed the love for sure, hope to get in a short canyon ride if the weather holds out.Thanks to those guys who are mechanical and want to make a girl down on her luck-HAPPY! -xojk
Note to reader, this is an email that I wrote to my mum, about an blog entry for writer’s called “Courage to Create” one of the top 2011 blogs for writers. Olin Mareselas wrote about a hard year and having to get “wise fast” due to life circumstances bombdardment. Well I feel you, and trying to make sense of it does not really work, its more of a feel it all, be in it all, embrace it all, and release the grip of totally trying to make sense of X,Y,Z. And BE. But then you know what the events of life as of lately have revealed truths, and realities, and reasons slowly and starting to form a clearer picture of the art that is called my life. The note below I think is the reason and explanation for the craziness as of lately. —xojk
Mom- I really liked the honesty and the writing and the message! I was just reading as well in a simple book called Prayer for Pilgrims 1980 book about a doctor who writes about prayer- She writes that God molds us like a potter molds clay on a potter’s wheel, when the mold does not come out quite right the potter has to “refashion” the clay again, I can just see how the clay gets pushed back down into wheel into a blob abd reformed again. This feels like where I am @ again, and hence the frustration, but I am being reformed, or “refashioned” and need to trust. What goes on in my mind is “there is something wrong here” and I panic, call Amelia, think I can get understanding she doesn’t help because it didn’t fit her “refashioning” pattern. I guess I have picked a lot of people’s brains lately but realize my strength and success will be my Indepenpende like my goddess card I drew. Looking for too many answers outside myself and not even knowing there is a “refashioning” by god for the vessel he is requiring is taking place, which by the way happens when there is a surrender, which I have continually prayed “To Will to Will Thy Will”.I liked the stepes the writer took, but he did not mention where the money came from to live, as well as his housing situation, the two biggies that I am facing these days, It appeared he had some roots and then worked on the spiritual connection 7th chakra, Body will power 3rd chakra, organinzing his thoughts 6 chakra. Just noticing that I seem to work on the above but it feels like it doesn’t take hold unless those roots are honored as well. Which I have been working on with the Yoga, girlfriend and family time, reconnecting in Utah, and hoping it falls into place somehow through daily inspired action.I drew another goddess card two days in a row. Mother Mary, the message with this card is expect a miracle. I kind of want to speculate the kind of miracle possible but really, when dealing with the divine the fullfilled dream is usually beyond my comprehension. Love Jenn and Hilo girl.
Just took the bike over to the best bike mechanic in SLC, to re work the front fork etc, hope to have it back for Birthday mtn bike ride to workout with PTZ group training AM. Feel like the paleo diet is helping me, the protein consumption is working,I am feeling like I am not consuming my own muscle mass and being in a fever at night.Bike more Be Happy.—xojk
Boldness- as of lately has me looking at the question of “am i just trashing my dreams or moving on to what serves me?” The bold move to Heal myself, has been this miraculous ride, Find a subletter in one day to live in my apt in Idaho (that same day the truth came out my boyfriend left me for another girl and the truth set me free and opened the wounds as well, but that’s another story. While I go and couch surfing in Utah, going from MD, homeopath, to Shaman, to find out what is causing me to have my hormones all out of whack, have a lump and hot spot on my thyroid, and pure exhaustion.I have learned so much about the human body, human spirit, mind and soul. The characteristics of each how they influence each other but how each operates with its own guidelines and nuances. This is what I am finding, Trust the process you are lead on, have conversations with people who have been there, and cover your bases with a diverse group of healers, let go of the outcome, feel the progress with each conversation.
So far these conversations have been instrumental, Guy Perry Thyroid Cancer Survivor, Debby Perry, nutritionist and athlete, awesome MOM. My MD who mentioned getting my chakras cleared,He is also working with me to get the tests I need, My mom for all the Homeopathy appts., And Troy Roper healer who saw that my Root Chakra was blocked and I am not willing to see my light and beauty and gifts and clearing the way! Kimmee G for the soft place to land, her love everday to me has healed and given me trust in people again. Galen is shipping me ELK from Idaho because protein for athletes is KEY! (Nutritionist healed her husband with the Paleo Diet for Athletes and I am about to do the same!)
In writing one is to create by showing the reader how it is, not necessarily TELLING the reader, there has been a lot of telling but I am writing for my healing, for my mind to know its organization, and then give myself a starting place to Heal myself and others. —xojk
Trash Doggie Labrador Stylie, she has figured out the trash days in the neighborhood, Tuesdays are really fun except when it turns into a 150.00 vet visit because fresh blood is found in her stool. I guess the protocol is a shot for the inflamation, no food for twenty four hours, pills to curb the bad bacteria in her system and pills for bowel control. It was her first visit in five years, knock on wood, and she had her ears checked and determined they needed cleaning and care as well. I was going off how often she shook her head but needed to look in her ears for the debris. She is the best dog ever especially in these trying times Her Power Snuggling right at the Heart Chakra is priceless. She and the neighbor dog Hemi, won’t leave the featherbed so I am sucked in as well to the sleepy lizard kapha energy. Merry Christmas, and happy Trash Sorting! Hilo and Hemi.
This was starting to happen, I had awesome boatman lined up however due to life’s craziness, and I think a blessing indisguise because I am now having health issues, I had to cancel My Grand Canyon Permit, I surrendered at the last possible date and the lottery office was “nice” but kinda trite with a “better luck next time” attitude, oh well, they will fill the slot and I get that’s why we have a new lotto system in place. What I learned about playing, not sure?, Maybe its the fact that I went for it. I had friends become super psyched and want to go, but in reality I need to have my river community pretty tight and dialed in to make it happen. I have been very solo in my life due to? Poor boyfriend choices as of recently and I hope to reconfigure that by going internal and creating myself as a better partner as well! Have had lots of solitude time, and realizing the Thyroid gland is not working for my body right now. It runs in my family and unlocking this genetic physiology puzzle could be a huge breakthrough. I feel like I could turn the “internal fire” back on and accomplish the things I really see myself doing, but in the mean time the mantra of Heal Thyself First, keeps popping in my head. —xojk
